Friday, February 13, 2009
“Beautiful skin…beautiful face and a beautiful desirable woman, you are also clever and cunning, a very convincing liar, and know the right buttons to press to get what you want…which makes you a potentially lethal woman.” Overcome by shock and horror she found she couldn’t speak. He no longer bore the slightest resemblance to the man who had been entertaining her not long ago.
Instead in front of her now stood a complete different man, a menacing, dark, dangerous stranger with chilling eyes.
Slowly he pulled the blade from inside his zipped boots.
She knew he was going to kill her.
The damp smell of death.
Her heart beat was deafening. He pushed her roughly against her wall, his face wet. Tears or sweat? She couldn’t tell, her own face was drenched with both. The depth of her fear, pain and despair at fate’s timing was so immense that she completely lost the will to scream, speak or protest.
Without removing his eyes from her, he tapped the blade against her glass bangles till one by one they all broke and scattered down on the floor around her feet. She struggled to breathe as he then traced the blade over from her forehead and down to her bottom lips where it rested, before the tip lightly dug into her softness till she could faintly taste her own blood inside her mouth.
“The ripe sweetness from these luscious lips has been drunk by another man.” He lowered the knife in the middle of her cleavage where it once again stopped.
His eyes were ferial. “The fullness of these bosoms has been teased and tasted by another man.”
He rounded the knife around her belly button and her heart lurched, sweat tickled down from her face to her neck.
Oh God he was really going to kill her.
“Your delicious belly button stroked by another man.” The knife slid further over her thighs digging into her flesh dangerously.
“Another man has enjoyed the venom sweetness between your legs.”
At the pain in his words, her heart twitched then protested as unbearable agony tore through it. Her eyes beseeched him but in vain.
As though unable to bear her vision, he shut his eyes momentarily. Oh dear Lord his face was wet and the storm of agony etched in the depth of those eyes as they now bored deep into hers. He saw her pain, the terrible ache and desolation that she knew she had now lost him, steaming out from every feature on her face. His face softened and he touched her face very tenderly and then repulsed pushed her away and threw the knife aside. He put his arm on the wall and rested his face on it. There was no sound from him, she could only see his shoulders shake violently.
He was really crying.
“Kill me,” she begged, unable to bear his agony. Her eyes wild, her body shook with hiccups. “If you won’t forgive me…then kill me please!”
He wiped his face fiercely with his arm and swung around to face her.
“Death is too easy for you – I will give you a punishment which shall be death itself to you every single day of your life.”
She knew what was about to come. She fell in a heap at his feet sobbing hysterically.
“Don’t! Don’t say it! Don’t say those words!”
Copyright Raveena Khan 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
I was in love
insanely in love with another
blind to everyone and everything
nothing mattered or made a difference
except for him
no man could compare to my love
until that night
when I met you
you took my breath right away….
All the while you spoke
I just stared at you ….
Unable to tear my gaze from the demonic incarnate of handsomeness
In front of my eyes
First time in my life I felt this way….
Like some naive, nervous teenager
confused, afraid and overpowered by a stranger
clad in black
Your eyes so disturbing
Your image still burns in my vision
What was it about you that totally
Your perfect physique
..honey tan complexion
The color of your eyes…
that dark lock on your forehead
matched outside with darkness of the night
Your deep voice so sensual
That genuine slight smile playing often on your lips
Your concern for me deeply touched me
Or the fact that a stranger
Was going out of his way for me…
We both could feel the growing
I reminded myself I belonged to another
Suddenly I was in a rush for our meeting to end
as these emotions were disturbing and alien to me
yet what was it about you
that I still can’t forget
The impression you have left behind
is so hard to forget
I wonder if I ever cross your mind
as every now and then I often think of that night
There is something about you…
This tells me
our paths are destined to cross again
you and me
shall meet once again….
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
The shadows fear his presence
as he stands flawlessly created
the angel of death
To take your life away
no matter what you do or say
there is no avoiding him
he'll attend this appointment with you
whether you're sleep or awake
whether you’re in the middle
of an important business seminar
on the road
in the house doing your daily chores
or in the arms of your beloved
No amount of bribes
nor that money you make
can tempt him from performing his daily duty
He won’t show you any mercy
when it's your time to go
You can’t turn back time then
delete any crimes you have done
its too late
The angel of death
will take us all
to bring back
every soul back to see
who they were
to know they were seen
Seen in this world
for all their deeds
by the greatest of all
our Supreme Being
The angle of death you know not my fate
until my Lord commands
I be dead
My heart Allah
it feels your mercy
from every hardship came ease
I tell you I'm lonely
as I cry on my knees
I raise my hands up towards you my Lord
in a state of fear
I beg of you my Lord
lift me high before I fall
Let my appointment
with angle of death be sweet and of beauty
On my day
let kindness and mercy be his only duty
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Betrayal is a conspiracy
I feel nothing but all dead inside
You've already lost my trust
Destroyed my faith in you thus all my feelings are gone
Whenever the shadows of times cast its
darkness around me
It's like repeatedly stabbed by a knife
your razor sharp lies still cuts like a double edge sword
deep into my soul
pushed me to the edge
How could you?
And if I do answer that incessant ringing in my soul
would the old wounds disappear?
can I ever bring myself to trust you again?
I find I remind myself again and again
that betrayal is a conspiracy
And then in the darkness once more I hear you cry out my name
its like an echo which slowly fades into the night
an eerie doleful resonance
But is that really you I hear
Or is that yet just another figment of my imagination
Betrayal is indeed a conspiracy
You are good as dead for me now!
Copyright Raveena Khan 2008
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Time seems to stand still. In the far background, Raza Khan Pahlavi, stunned and livid witnessed the scene playing before him. His fists clenched then unclenched as the other man’s lips traveled over his wife’s throat with such passion that she moaned with deep pleasure and then trembling, she pressed herself hard against him in total surrender. He watched as her lips parted and his mouth descended upon her.
The wavering faint light in some corner of his heart, ignored most of the time yet its existence undoubtedly real ,now flickered one last time before dieing out like a candle in some ferocious wind. His body shook with unrestrained violence.
His wife in the arms of her lover!
He swallowed the uncomfortable knots of saliva which gathered at the back of his throat and said tremulously, “Maa there isn’t a day which goes by when I don’t miss you - you are forever in my heart.”
He bend and brushed the dead leaves and earth from his mother’s grave. Then straightening as he turned to leave he felt that recognizable hand clap of reassurance descend slowly down his right shoulder. His eyes shut for a split second.
He’s mother’s touch of support.
Raza then turned back sharply. All he could see was a quiet grave yard and rustling tress in the wind. A wan smile on his lips, he turned back again. A mother held her children’s hands for a while but their hearts forever.
Even death couldn’t break that tie between Mother and Son.
Khalida locked her fingers together and took a deep breath which was audible to everyone in the room and which expressed that she was finding the whole ordeal a struggle.
“Raveena…instead of me explaining it’s best you read this dairy for yourself. She paused then resumed, “Aunt Sakeena gave this dairy to us just before we left for
The saying is so true – what goes around, comes around. They say writing is a form of therapy, question is, do I need a therapist?
Perhaps I do. Perhaps I don’t. ……………..
The sun’s warm rays streaked from the gap between the hastily drawn drapes, over onto the bed quilt and seem to hit directly upon Sadiya, stirring her awake, as she lay on her side with Raza Khan Pehlvi’s muscular dark arm encircling her waist. Slowly turning on her back, she leaned on her elbow and gazed at the dark, handsome sensual face.
Hmmm…she licked her lips greedily. She could never have enough of him. She had had several discreet flings before meeting him two years ago at the
He was her Lion. Her Lion king. In and out of bed. In a few months he would be her husband. Her husband! Hmmm….Mrs Sadiya Pahlavi, now that sounded perfect.
And incredibly handsome man. His name Raza, perfected his personality. Powerful, handsome and smart with a witty sense of humor but lately, strangely he had become moody and irritable, which lead to a lot of argument and tension between the couple. Then in a few days he would cool off, and show up at her doorstep with roses in his hand apologizing for acting like bear with a sore head and instantly she would find herself forgiving him. Afterwards they would make love for hours end.....
“Powel’s man were doing some coverage in
In the depth of his heart it was there and also present around him in spite of people, his true companion now, silence. He could hear it crying like a dying owl, self-conscious, desolated, desperate and alone, silence.
He coughed slightly as though to clear his throat. He coughed again and then again. Wow…the pain lifting from his chest up to his throat, neither sharp nor stabbing, neither faint nor shallow…how could he describe it? He lifted Geoff’s unfinished scotch from the bar drank it all one gulp as though it was some sort of medicine which would provide him with instant relief. Raza’s whole being seemed to be on raging fire. Yet it was distinct from the conflagration rapidly spreading inside his chest. God help him, how would he saturate that.
Coughing he turned and without a word started towards where the car was parked. The driver quickly held the door open for him with respect. He climbed into his seat at the back at the same pushing his dark sunnies over his eyes.
“Hey dude I am sorry. I’m so sorry?” Geoffrey murmured miserably not knowing what to else to say.
Still coughing Raza wiped the corners of his mouth with his white with blue strips handkerchief on which were engraved his initials.
Depression was a constant visitor now
Pain was unavoidable
Deafening noise swirled around him like gigantic angry ocean waves
Trying to reason a single voice speaking inside his head was like trying to catch a snowflake
His impaired fate suddenly very quiet.
Destruction total and absolute.
Life and love lay in ruins.
Raveena flopped on her bed over which was strewn her text books and once again stared at his picture taken beside Stephanie inside some Royal Yacht in Mumbai India. He seemed to be enjoying yet his eyes…something about his eyes, they seemed remote as though as something was bothering him. Almost immediately she chided at herself for been silly and over imaginative.
Yet she couldn’t prevent her heart knotting inside her breast. She shut her eyes and rested the newspaper on her breast then stared up at the ceiling and the voice inside her head cried……
♪It’s been a million years since♪
I touched you,
I thought time might help me win this game
But been away from you is slowly driving me insane…♪
“I…see…” She tried to console the other woman not really knowing really what else to say, except empathize with her. Raveena put her arms around the other woman. “I do understand.”
“No!” The woman shrugged her off. “No you don’t understand.” Her face crumbled. Clutching her boy tightly against her heart. she started to weep loudly “You are not the one with a handicapped child!.”
Sometimes humanity and appreciation of every good life bestows no matter how big or small shines brightest under harsh and inhumane conditions.
And that moment Raveena’s whole course of life changed though she realised it much later.
Happiness….a rare blessing to mankind.
Love…the surrogate name for pain.
The lonely walk in the path of life a reality.
She took a very deep breath and then turned her head up towards the sky.
“Since the heart is a place where love comes from, now where does this love go when the heart dies? Back to the dead heart where it came from or turn into blood cascading from the eyes?”
Copyright Raveena Khan 2008
You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away♪
I'll always love you
And make you happy
If you will only say the same
But if you leave me
To love another
You'll regret it all some day
You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are grey
You'll never know, dear
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away♪
Friday, June 27, 2008
Salman closed his eyes briefly then without warning, in one movement with the back of his hand, he swept the dishes off the counter and they scattered onto the floor, shattering to bits.
Tonight, those usually gentle green eyes flashed like raging fire.
Outside the night was cool, and strangely quiet. Tress on the nature strip swayed eerily in the gentle northerly gust. The full moon shone brightly in the partially clouded sky.
The streetlight near Raveena’s window blinked twice and then made a buzzing noise before dying out.
A black cat from nowhere crossed the road.
The cat looked straight up at Raveena’s bedroom window, her ears pointy as if on alert. Her eyes were shinning like gems in the darkness; she drew her teeth back into a snarl. She then bounced her way up to Raveena’s windowsill and started to moan softly, followed by deep throaty cries.
Back in her bed, Raveena was in deep sleep when suddenly she started to thrash around in her bed restlessly.
The recurring dream she hadn’t had for sometime returned with an unusual sense of terror. This time acutely, she could hear herself laughing chaotically as she gazed down at the ferocious waves. “Take me,” she whispered, looking into the waves and laughing, while the intense gust of wind pulled her sari tighter around her body.
“Die Raveena Die! Die! Die! Kill yourself now!”
“What time are we expecting to be landing in Mississippi Tom?”
“Tomorrow morning by 8 am local time sir.” Tom lifted his cap in a polite acknowledgment of Raveena then went back inside his cabin
Her heart aching, she turned to Raza as the jet roared to life. He looked at her visibly upset face and a shadow fell across his face. It was almost like he wanted to say something but then once more his profile hardened. A tear escaped from her lashes and slid down her face. She bit her lip to stop it from trembling.
He had left…and once more, she was alone, left with only his memories.
“What do I call you now?” Her eyes glittering akin to something which could only be termed close to insanity run a chill down his spine as she let the rain from the heavens mingle on her face with her tears.
“Bhaiya like Khalida does?”
He shut his eyes very tightly and held his face up against the rain, letting the drops batter onto his face relentlessly. When he finally opened them, they were bloodshot.
“Raza,” he shouted against the roar of the rain, his eyes now smoldering. “Just Raza.”
She stepped closer to him and cried against the roar of the rain, thunder and the wind. “I still see the world in your eyes and your eyes everywhere in this world.”
Brushing the rain back from his face with his hand, he said slowly as the rain grew torrent, “Love is a language spoken by everyone, but understood only by a heart.”
Copyright Raveena Khan 2008
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Death is the final measure of a man.
“Every man dies. Not every man really lives.”
~ William Wallace ~ – the Braveheart
“Death smiles at us all. All a man can do is smile back.”
and thus begins the saga in
The Indian Bride -Who danced in Chains